Day 180 – I wish my forehead read: FUCK OFF!!

Yes folks I wish my forehead was tattooed with two of my favourite words those being FUCK OFF.

I’m tired, I’m irritable, I’m hot, I’m annoyed at the entire universe, I have Aunty Mable visiting (my period) I feel like shit, I look like shit and I feel like a rubber band ready to explode. I’m fucked. I want to punch heads in.

Bring on the Xmas break! 4 and bit weeks to go and then I can rest and unwind.

I experienced something today that amazed me, hence why I want a tattooed forehead that reads FUCK OFF! I cant go too deeply into this as I do not want to expose the person that I am about to talk about but today I realized that we as humans all have some sort of insecurity and bullshit luggage that we lug around with us. I’m cool with that. We humans are complex, multi layered creatures. What I am not cool with is the fact that today this person threw her “insecurities” her lack of confidence, her anxieties, her diffidence, her bullshit, and her uncertainness, onto me.

You see I got home from my folks place to a weird message on my answering machine. This person whom I called a friend before today leaves me a message asking me to help her out with something (and I was cool with this) but ends the fucking message with “Please don’t lose any more weight” and hung up. Yes let me replay the message…yes word for word, please don’t lose any more weight. Why say that and hang up? Why not say it to my fucking face?

I am so in shock and I have come to the realization that I should have nothing to do with this person as this negativity is like cancer it spreads, and I don’t need people bringing me down. I am quite capable of bringing myself down all my lonesome. I am the Queen of doing this to myself so having outside help is not necessary. Why do women do this to one another? This is why I enjoy men’s company so much as there is bullshit but not bullshit like this.

I can only say that this bird has serious issues and feels threatened by me. Like what the fuck is that all about? Have you all seen what I look like? Have you seen my arse? I am very overweight why would someone want to compete with someone who is overweight? Can someone please enlighten me as I am seriously about to lose my mind.

You know as I sit here typing this I have to admit it’s rather laughable. Yet sadly pathetic and derisory. But on the other hand this two-bit fuck wit feels so threatened by me and my response now is basically “Game on mole”. Its time to fuck with her I say. So I have put out a personal goal to myself and I need each and every one of you to support me in this but I plan on losing 10 kilos over the next 5 weeks. This would mean 2 kilos a week. I am going to push my body like I have never pushed it before. I am joining my local gym tomorrow and I am going to push it, push it real good. Maybe 10 kilos in 5 weeks is unrealistic or even unattainable but FUCK I am going to go into this and into this HARD. No more Miss Nice Guy Reney who sits back and swallows other people's bullshit. No, no, no, no more.


If this two-bit fuckwit doesn’t want me to lose any more weight because she feels threatened by me then I am only going to lose MORE. If I have to not eat and starve myself for 5 weeks then so fucking be it. You know who you are and you are fucking pathetic, your bullshit has just inspired me and encouraged me to go farther and further.

Bring it on mole!! Fancy telling me not to lose any more weight. I am flabbergasted beyond belief. I am also annoyed and perplexed and baffled.

I end tonight’s blog entry with this which is something I heard Ari from Entourage scream out: DO NOT FUCK WITH MY FOCUS!!!

An angry yet exhilarated Reney