Day 132 – What sorta best friend forgets her best friends birthdays?

I am a slacker! I am despicable and I am a selfish rotten specimen of a human being. Let me explain.

I have 3 best friends. They are Annette from Sydney, My bestie V, and my gorgeous T. I feel blessed to have all of these 3 beautiful people in my life who encourage me, support me, love me, and like being my friend. Let me break it down some more.

I only get to see Annette once a year due to her living in another state and we contact each other on a fortnightly basis. Maybe this is why she is one of my best friends. Maybe if we lived in the same state things might be different? I’m sounding cynical I know but maybe this is just me being brutally honest. Her birthday is in January. So no, I didn’t forget her birthday.

My two closet friends are V and T. Their birthdays are on the EXACT same day and dickhead, narcissistic, selfish, slapper ME forgot about their birthdays. I was so self absorbed in my pitiful and pathetic life that I totally forgot to buy and post T’s present, I forgot to ring T and sing happy birthday to him, I didn’t even remember to sms him, or to call him. As for V. her present and card are sitting in my spare room all wrapped up and she was at my house on Sunday night the day before her birthday and I didn’t even wish her a happy birthday. I didn’t even ring her on Monday and sing her a Happy Birthday. I totally and utterly forgot.

And you know what? It only hit me about their birthdays as I walked into work this morning. I rang both of them up and screamed my apologies. I can’t believe how forgetful I have become.

I wonder if I would have cracked the shits if they had forgotten my birthday?

Anyway, that said I promise to be a better friend in future. Sorry guys!

I haven’t exercised for a few days now due to Elvis being so sick and every bone feels stiff, I can’t wait for the weekend to go for a run and do some yoga. Ahhh yoga! I can already taste my arse crack juice. Hmmm tasty. NOT.

On the food front I had a bad day today. I woke up feeling very restricted and it took me 4 hours to go through my cup of coffee. I kept having to reheat it in the microwave. Lunch was on the run and ended up being painfully thrown up. It was a painful spewage today and left me gasping for air. It hurt like a motherfucker coming up and worse my work colleague Ash heard me retching my guts up. Very embarrassing. Days like today are days when I wish I didn’t have the lap band. Sad but true. I love my band I really do but it can be such hard work. No I mean really hard work.

Dinner was home made lentil soup that my mum made. It tasted delicious and smelt simply divine but I really struggled with it so I had to blenderize it to a pulp. I was annoyed that I had to blenderize my soup, as I don’t want to have “special restrictions” for the remainder of my life. I want to be able to eat “normally”. It’s pissing me off. Again, I love my band but it can be such hard work.

I had to organize my workplace Xmas party the other week and I had to peruse the menu of the restaurants we had narrowed it down to as we are having set menus. I had to read and re-read the menus and work out what I could and couldn’t eat. There was one place that had NOTHING that I could stomach.

I got a bit depressed at one point and I felt like I shouldn’t even bother going to the party as I cant fucking eat a thing. I know that food is not the be all and end all I appreciate and I understand that but what does one do when they can’t eat and can’t drink alcohol. Am I expected to sit there and look pretty? Do I just sit at the dinner table and watch everyone around me eat and drink? What’s the point? But then I remembered that I am needed at work functions, as I’m the freak that makes everybody laugh, flashes her tits and flirts with waiter’s muahahahahahaha!!!

I’m worried about Xmas, I know its ages away but this holiday or celebration is so food orientated and this is going to be my first Xmas with the lap band and I’m anxious, I’m nervous, I’m worried, I’m concerned, I’m uneasy, I’m apprehensive and most of all I am scared. I am really scared. I am picturing myself eating and then running to the loo and letting it all out. Or not making it to the loo in time. I’m not sad that I can’t pig out like I used to, as hunger is the last thing that I really experience. If you go back through my past blog entries you will notice that I have probably only had hunger pangs 5 times in 130 days. I only eat to help my metabolism and to not go into complete “starvation” mode.

Does anybody else feel anxious with Christmas and New Years for that matter coming up?


Reney


P.S – To the gorgeous Erika!! How’s it going girl? Haven’t spoken to you in ages!! I go to your blog on a daily basis to see if you have posted. I haven’t weighed myself or taken measurements but I plan on doing so this weekend so I will post once I know. I also need to bribe a friend to take full length photos of me. Once I know I will post! Great to hear from you!!

P.P.S – My peeps Erika has a mad blog if you are interested hit this: http://mylapbandblog.blogspot.com/