Yep like the blog entry reads, I did a vomit and I feel like shit.
I decided to stay in for lunch today rather than go home and to cut a very long story short I ate too fast and then the spew gates opened. I threw up and threw up and threw up.
My chest wall is still aching 7 hours after the fact and I just feel and look like crap. I love my band but days like this make me want to shove my entire arm down my throat and rip the lap band off.
The pain prior to throwing up was intense and it sounded very primal with all my moaning and groaning. I had tears just streaming down my face from the sheer pain and then with each and every heave I felt as if my heart was about to explode.
On the funny side I have at least mastered the “clean upchuck” This is when you throw up and not a drop gets in your hair, nor on your clothes and all of it goes directly into the toilet bowl rather than all over the toilet seat.
I don’t know how other people feel after vomiting but for me personally I end up becoming very drained, tired and exhausted and all I want to do is lay on the ground in the foetal position and rock myself to sleep.
I haven’t had dinner tonight as I am not hungry and I am too scared to even attempt eating.
I am off to see Mr. Wonderful Surgeon tomorrow and I am anxious, nervous, scared and apprehensive. I love my surgeon as you are all aware but the build up to seeing him is scary to say the least. I find it all rather nerve racking. I cant explain why as I simply cannot get inside my brain enough to try and understand why and what I am scared about. Its bizarre as the minute I see him I relax but each and every time from the time I park my car until I walk in and get weighed my heart beat is going crazy.
I’m due for my second fill tomorrow and part of me feels that I don’t really need it but the other part is telling me to shut up and have it. After the spew today I am more than happy to stick to liquids and mushies for the next fortnight.
I have been experiencing some hunger pains these last few days and by prolonging my meals it has really helped but my tummy gurgles have been The Reney Philharmonic Orchestra as they have been going off inside me. So I guess I must be due for a fill.
Well wish me luck for tomorrow!!!
Reney
3 comments:
Hi,
I just read todays entry & I thank you for your honesty. I read a lot of other people's blogs and some of the threads that are out there and as informative as they are not many of them tell the truth. It was great to read that today was a day that you hated the band.
I appreciate your honesty.
Shirls
Lovely Reney,
You poor little thing, I hope you are feeling much better today (tues) after your spew day.
Good luck today with your "Mr Wonderful Surgeon", i hope the fill goes well and that the scales bring a smile.
Love "Bee"
I second Shirls comment Reney. I'm due for my surgery in late Jan/early Feb and I really do believe I have my eyes WIDE OPEN! The good, the bad and the ugly, I need and want to know it all so keep spilling your guts girl (only in the literary sense please!!), your honesty and openness about the whole journey is really inspiring and interesting to read too.
Thanks Reney!
Maree
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