Day 96 – I’m having me a shitty, shitty day!!!

Went to see Mr. Wonderful Surgeon today and the motherfucker was late!!! When I say late I mean really late!! My appointment was scheduled for 1.30 and he didn’t see me until 3.25pm. I was jerked off. No I mean really jerked off.

I love my surgeon I’ve said it a million times I think he is awesome but today I was ready to thump him. If I had my black leather dildlo in my handbag I would have pulled it out and started cracking heads open.

I have no problem waiting and I appreciate and understand that you hardly ever get seen on time. I get that whole scenario as I live that scenario each and every day (remember I have worked in numerous medical centres and I work in a dental surgery) but this was beyond fucking ridiculous.

The receptionists didn’t even have the common courtesy to come to the waiting room and notify his patients that he was stuck in surgery but he was on his way. How fucking rude.

Thankfully I had a bought a book along (The Assault of Reason – How the Politics of Fear, Secrecy & Blind Faith Subvert Wise Decision-Making Degrade Democracy & Imperil America and the World. By Al Gore) My book had me enthralled and I guess entertained for the first hour of waiting and then I started fuming. I walked over to the desk and asked of Mr. Wonderful Surgeon’s whereabouts. I was told an “Oh, he is on his way…we think” What the fuck is that all about? I sat back down and thought what a fucking wasted day. I have a million and one things to do and I had to cancel my hairdresser’s appointment. I now can’t get in to see my hairdresser until the end of October. I am not impressed.

So I finally get called in and Mr. Wonderful Surgeon apologizes for being late so I let him have it. He wasn’t impressed that the receptionists said nothing. So we then discussed my weight loss, which is a bit on the low side. I have sadly only lost 3 kilos in a month (which now brings me down to 101) and that sort of jerked me off as I exercise a lot. Mr. Wonderful Surgeon was happy with my weight loss but I wasn’t. He told me that I needed to be more realistic and not put so much pressure on myself. How can one not put pressure on themselves when I eat like a sparrow and do some form of exercise each and every day? I didn’t have surgery to work so hard and lose only 3 kilos in one month.

He counseled me and explained that yes other people did no exercise, ate a lot more than me, drank alcohol and had their weight drop off but obviously my body wasn’t like that and I could be turning my fat into muscle. I stood up and flexed my arm muscles and said “Nah Doc, there’s no way that’s happening look they still are flabby” Which made him laugh.

So then he made me lie down on the examination bed and gave me a fill. I now have 3mls in a 5ml band. He also instructed me to stop all forms of exercise for a month and I agreed to doing so except for my walking. I get too stiff I don’t do some form of movement. And I agreed to keep eating like a sparrow.

I am not impressed and I am jerked off to have only lost 19 odd kilos in 3 months, also instead of dropping more weight I am instead dropping heaps of hair off my head and in the process of everything I now have low ferritin levels. If this is the lap band then I don’t want it in me anymore. I understand that there is the good, the bad and the ugly in everything but I’m angry.

Do I put myself under a lot of pressure? Yes I do. Am I my own worst critic? Yes I am. Do I set unrealistic goals for myself? Yes I do. Am I anal retentive? Yes I am.

I guess tomorrow is another day and I am sure I will be feeling a lot better and optimistic. 19 kilos in 3 months is better than nothing I guess. No sympathy emails please I’m just venting. I don’t “do” pity, I much prefer me some hatred and anger.




Reney
P.S - Maree, this is the best shot of the the diamond on my tooth.