Day 66 - I did it!!!

Last night I went to the movies with V. to see Knocked Up. I laughed and laughed so much that I had tears just streaming down my face. Have you all seen it? What did you think of it? I think Seth Rogen is a right on spunk. Me love a nerdy geeky looking boy. If you haven’t gone to see this movie and want to watch something hilarious then this is your movie.

Before the movie V. and I went and had dinner. I was apprehensive about ordering a meal as I don’t know what it is but I get scared to eat out sometimes in case food gets stuck. I ended up ordering the chicken risotto and eating the rice and leaving the chicken behind. I’m supposed to be a vegetarian now I know. My meal arrived and it was huge. It could easily have fed 3 people. Why do some restaurants do this? Why cook a meal for your patron to have your staff then throw the remainder of the meal away. It was so huge that I don’t think I could have even finished it pre-band days.

I cautiously ate a few mouthfuls and was full quite quickly so I caught myself playing with my food. I mean what else are you supposed to do if you have finished eating yet the people that you are dining with are still eating?

I asked V. to point to where the bathroom was. Another new idiosyncrasy of mine. I need to know where the bathroom is situated at all times, as I know that if something gets stuck I literally sprint to the toilet, as I can’t hold it in. I have to slow my eating down some more. I have almost got this eating thing down pat.

I’m definitely a cheap date now, I can’t have any pre-dinner drinks, I can’t drink anything with my meal, and I eat mainly entrees. Who wants to ask me out on a date? Any cuties interested?

I had a bulimic moment yesterday that frustrated me quite a bit but I understand that the lap band is still very new to me and I need to experience all this stuff now and know what I can and cannot eat. I had bought from the Organic Supermarket what’s called an Asian Tempeh salad, which is basically coleslaw, with tofu, broccoli, bits of corn and cucumber. I ate a few forkfuls yesterday and fell to the floor in absolute agony. I don’t know whether it was the actual cabbage or the skin on the cucumber but FUCK it hurt like a motherfucker.

I slid off my sofa and fell to the floor on all fours. Gasping and moaning. I stood up, rubbed my chest and stuck my chest out like a proud peacock and then ran to the toilet and let my body take full control of me. My brain went into autopilot. It all came flowing out of me and after my vomit I lay on the cold tiled bathroom floor rubbing my chest and moaning in relief. Trial and error I guess.

Anyways, as I was saying, during dinner I asked V when she was coming back to Bikram with me and she said NEVER. Seems that the poor girl ended up suffering from a blood nose due to the heat. I laughed when she said “I will do any other style of yoga with you but that yoga, well you can have it” I think this proves how intense and difficult this style of yoga is.


So today was Day 7 of The Bikram Yoga Challenge arrived and part of me was relieved to say the least but the other part of me was disappointed as now I think I need to take on the 60-day challenge.

I so wanted to sleep in this morning as I was so tired but I got up and drove to The Yoga Studio half asleep. Yogini Maggie met me at the door and said, “I’m proud of you, I really am proud of you and I didn’t think you were going to show up today” I shrugged my shoulders, giggled nervously and mumbled a “juhefjsdhfjdhsiu”. I don’t know what I was trying to say to her I just mumbled.

Today's class had to be the hardest one that I have done. My lower back is totally fucked and very sore but I persevered and did what I had to do. No point in complaining. I think that the more you do Bikram the more you perspire. I got into my favourite position, which is called Sasangasana or the Rabbit Pose, and as I placed my complete upper body in the position I felt this huge gush of sweat just pour from my breast region right down my chest and back of my neck and into my hair. It was totally gross. But thankfully I did not taste arse crack juice today!!!

Looking back at my week I was faced with some hard physical challenges, challenges that I would have ran away from pre-lap band. I am very proud of myself for accepting the Bikram Yoga Challenge and I am even more proud of myself for doing my weight training and skipping etc on top of it all. I also had, like I mentioned in today’s entry what I refer to as “Bulimic Moments” which can really depress you but I am happy that I handled the situation the way that I did. It really is all about trial and error. I guess they are little obstacles that we all have to go through along the way. We live and we learn right?

What’s really put a smile on my face is the fact that I have noticed that there are a group of us who are all in the same boat and who are all supporting and encouraging each other. As hippy as this sounds it’s really a beautiful thing. There is a lot of negativity associated with the lap band as ignorant arseholes think that we have taken the easy way out and we really haven’t.

It amazes me how many people that I know and who I thought were my friends have turned on me. They’ve turned on me because I want to live, I want to experience a happy life, and I want to be fit and healthy. So to all my readers I love each and every one of you even though I have never ever met you. This week especially was a bit of a hard week for me emotionally with someone whom I loved so dearly having turned on me. Your comments were what I needed to hear and I cant thank you all enough. YOU all have inspired me and encouraged me to keep moving forward and I feel really blessed to have you all in my life.

Now, having said all that schmucky stuff I need to start swearing now (hee hee) so lets all work motherfucking hard this week. Lets all fucking get down and shake our arses and move, move, move. Lets show all those haters and all those motherfuckers how fucking strong we are and how fucking fantastic we are looking.

Peace OUT!!!

Reney