Day 185 – We won! We won! Kev’s in!!! WOOHOOO!!!

YYYYEEEEEEAHHHHAAAA!!!!! Go Kev! Go ALP!!!

Oh man the elections are finally over and I can relax. I swear I thought I was going to be sick yesterday as I was that antsy!!!

Let me go back to what last night was like. I sat in front of the teli biting all my nails off and feeling like I was about to snap into two, I was so nervous and anxious. Then KAPOW!!! 77 seats to The ALP and my home phone and mobile went off. I had to ring Gee and yelled out “We won, we are in!”

I rang ManBoy who answered the phone yelling and screaming “I’m on my way over” At 10.00pm ManBoy came around I threw the front door open and he lets out this high pitched shrill “83 seats! 83 seats!”
The silly duffer, God bless his little cotton socks starts jumping up and down on the spot having a total spaz attack in the hallway, which triggered Elvis off and Elvis started barking and running around the house going off his tits. So I thought to myself ahh fuck it I may as well start jumping up and down. You would think we had won the Lotto the way we were going off.

ManBoy started going through my grog cabinet looking for wine as he kept saying, “I need a drink, I cant believe this” Then he starts swigging straight out of the bottle and you guys think I ramble, he started with “new leadership, the coalition, young member, the ALP offering us a future”

I’m happy, my family is happy and ManBoy practically has shat his pants from being happy!! He kept flicking the remote going from one TV station to the next.

At 11.05pm it was announced that the ALP had won 84 seats and ohmifuck that just set him off again. The dude was practically crying from happiness and off he went on a tangent: “Howard offered his congratulations, new leadership, fresh ideas, a great Australian democracy, “

At 3am I walked ManBoy out, he grabs me by the shoulders and kissed me on the cheek and then leaves me with: “Australia has looked to the future, we as a young nation will look forward, to embrace the future.” In my head I was thinking “What the?”

So today I accompanied ManBoy to his friends BBQ. Yes it was all political discussions going round but I was pleased that ManBoy didn’t leave my side, as I was so ready to start going apeshit over the elections. Every time I was asked my thoughts ManBoy was pinching the back of my neck so I wouldn’t start cursing. Fuck that was so funny.

Lapband wise I ate a veggie burger that was cooked on the BBQ, which tasted unreal but the smell of meat being cooked on the barbie was fucking intense. First time in 6 months I actually craved meat I think. It smelt so delicious. I was also the fattest chick there and I have to say I felt very paranoid and uncomfortable. Thankfully my girls (my tits) were on show so that made all the skinny blonde bitches a tad jealous and made me feel a bit better. First time I was happy with my girls. It was definitely a morale booster.

I feel that I eat like a pigeon since being banded but these skinny rich blonde bitches eat NOTHING. How do they survive?

So now I need to finally sloth on my sofa and relax because tomorrow is Monday and I have to preserve my energy so that I may stir the shit out of my work colleagues. I am going to walk into work tomorrow and let out a huge: UP THE WORKER!!!! UP THE ALP!!!


Reney