Day 155 – The negatives of having a blog.

So my weight is out there and you know I am pretty cool with it. I’m finally down to double digits. What I find a bit perplexing is the fact that I received an email this morning that initially had me annoyed. Please note the word “initially”, and then this email had me…I don’t know…confounded, confused, puzzled and mystified.

Let me explain. I received an email from someone who calls themselves “Hot Girl”. So, this jealous, competitive knob writes to me and says (and let me quote them here): “I have seen you around and you have a huge fat arse and I don’t even believe that you have had the lap band surgery done, your boyfriend looks like he should be your son you look old, wrinkly and fat”. (End quote) Like what the fuck???

Dear Hot Girl in response to your highly entertaining yet rather rude email. Firstly honey, try spell check before sending an email off. You come across as a very uneducated tool. I sound very rude and arrogant don’t I? Oh well if you can name call me then you can take me dishing it back. Its only fair right?

Secondly, it is your prerogative to think whatever you may please about someone. I am not here to try and convince you whether I have or have not had the lap band surgery, again you can believe whatever the hell you like. But why would I lie about something like this? I don’t know why you think this.

Thirdly, if you can read, which may be questionable, may I suggest you actually go back into my past entries, where I have mentioned ManBoy you will note that he isn’t my boyfriend. I don’t do the whole relationship thing but having said that I may be old, wrinkly and fat as you so put it but hot darn I scored me a hot educated man and it rocks baby!!! Does it kill you that I get to snog such a gorgeous specimen of a human being?

Fourthly, if you have seen me around and you believe from the pit of your soul that I am a liar and I am lying about my surgery then why read my blog? And why send derogatory and downright rude emails? You know what I think? I think that I am some kind of threat to you (God only knows why I would be a threat to you…but anyway) I also think that I am some sort of competition to you. Hot Girl that aint healthy if that’s the case, why don’t you try and turn YOUR negative energy around and do something healthy and constructive rather than lash out at me.

What have I done that upsets people? I had surgery to make ME better and healthy and I have to endure such negativity and such utter bullshit. I sometimes feel like I am some sort of fucking pariah. It’s just pathetically stupid. This is MY blog. MY, MY, MY blog. I sacrifice my time and life to do this for ME, if in the process people read it and find some humour, or get some advice out of this then that’s great too. Don’t read my blog if you think I am a liar. Why waste your time? I have said this heaps of times that I get a lot of hate emails and accusatory, angry and critical emails but why be a hater? I don’t understand. Why cant people like you leave me alone? Does doing what I do really bother you that much?

If you believe in your heart and soul that I am a liar and that my arse is fat (which it is, I have never said I have a little arse I have a lot of arse) and you believe that I haven’t had the lap band surgery then I invite you to come and speak to me. You claim that you have seen me around, so be brave, come on over to me and I shall lift my top up for you to see and feel my port and then tell me that I am lying. Also, maybe when I next have to see Mr. Wonderful Surgeon at The Centre I shall post the appointment date and time and we can meet up there and maybe you could chat to my surgeon and get the confirmation you obviously so desire.

I just wish you could speak to some of my work colleagues who see me for the majority of my day and they can tell you what I go through with this lap band. The vomiting, the chest pains the works.

Why am I justifying myself and my actions? Because this is a form of deformation and this pisses me off. Am I threat to you? Are you a bandster who hasn’t achieved as much as they wish? Have I said something to offend you? Can you indicate what I have done that has made you so uncomfortable, so threatened that you have this desire to be mean towards me?

There are times when I feel like my entire life I continuously get crucified and persecuted by certain family members for being the person that I am and now I am copping it from strangers. Am I such a bad person? I am human just like you and I make errors. I never claimed to be perfect. I am far, FAR from it. I have flaws, I have defects, I make mistakes, and I am imperfect. But why on earth would I lie about my surgery?

I end today’s entry by saying in my defence that I really try to be a good person, a compassionate person, a kind person, but please don’t push my buttons if you push my buttons I bite back. So having said just that I send my apologies out to you for whatever I have done.

You see who I am every day, this is ME. All of me. The truth and nothing but the truth.

Reney.