Day 150 – Sudden heat hits Melbourne

I have been quoted as saying that I am looking forward to summer for the first time in a very long time (if ever) and I still feel the exact same BUT I cant handle the way the weather is in Melbourne at the moment. Heat came so suddenly and that’s what I hate. This suddenness.

In a perfect world, it would be great if summer slowly came into our lives rather than this BANG we tend to have to endure and suffer in Melbourne each and every year. This sudden heat drives me nuts. It’s been a strange week weather wise, beautiful and sunny one day and then rainy and grey the next.

Anyways, today was icky and sticky and initially it depressed me. I put Elvis’ lead on and we attempted a walk. Sadly we only lasted 2o minutes but what was funny was that Elvis took a pee up against a shady tree and then took a step away from the tree and then lay down panting. Poor thing was so hot so I picked the lazy thing up and I walked home (hey there you go, there’s my weight training for the day) . I got home whacked my air con on and lay myself down on the cold tiles and cooled myself down.

On the lap band front today’s “summer” weather had me thinking. I think it’s going to be a lot easier to drop weight in summer than it has been throughout winter and autumn. I noticed that I was drinking a ton of water. I made my first 8 glasses of water by midday. As for appetite, hmmm…well I am feeling so full with all the water that I have inside me that I have no appetite. For lunch I forced myself to have lunch and ate ¾ of a tub of yoghurt and that was more than enough.

I tried to go for another walk with Elvis later in the afternoon and again the both of us weren’t really coping so we just did the block and came right back.

Anyways, I’m off to mums and dads for dinner tonight so I best get out of my pj’s and get dressed. But before I do, like I do most Sunday’s entries, I reflect on the week that’s just passed. I went back and read my blog as there was so much going on this past week. A lot of emotional sort of stuff going on. Lets see, I experienced some loneliness this week. I spent a lot of time with just me and I have always been a bit of a loner and I have never really let that bother me, in fact I have always craved me time but last weekend saw me questioning what may lie ahead for me as I get older.

I experienced possibly the worst day at work in my entire career and how fucked up things can get. Nothing is secure regardless of how hard you work, or the sacrifices you make and so forth. I also had a wake up call how my colleagues are focused on their lunch breaks, on their cigarette breaks, on me helping me them with their instruments yet not one of them helps me out when they walk past me and hear a ringing phone and instead take themselves and their cigarette out for a break. Everybody focuses on their needs first (and that’s not a bad thing) I just need to start doing that too.

What else did I learn? I learnt that playing the diva and persevering with so much vomiting and restriction was a fucking stupid thing and in future I too will become as selfish as some of my work colleagues and put my needs first as they do.

I realized that I am a fragile human being. I am allowed to feel lonely, I am allowed to feel angry, and I am allowed to be sad. I realized that I am not all about being the happy chirpy joker. I have feelings and I have emotions and I am allowed to have them, experience them and express them.

Anyways, it was a full on week, which was an eye opener, and one that I am actually glad is over with. May the up and coming week be a great week for all of us. As my gorgeous T reminds me almost on a daily basis to stay focused, stay motivated and believe in oneself.

Love to you all,

Reney