It’s been another tiring day today. I decided that I would go to work feeling positive and see what was to transpire throughout my working day. I figured that if I were negative, sad, morose or rude it would not win me any favours. I said “Reney, go in there today, just do your job as best as you can and then go home, and remember to leave your work worries there at work”
I sat down at my desk and didn’t really say too much. I am usually very chatty, very boisterous and very loud but today I toned it down for the majority of the day. Amazingly, I don’t think anybody really noticed my “professional and serious” side. Like HELLO!!!!! I am being quiet cant any of you hear the silence!@#??! I must say I did my Justin Timberlake dance for Nick and Ashleigh later in the day, as I needed to feed off somebody’s laughter.
I got a shit load done and I contemplated speaking to my boss (thanks Bee for your advice, it was definitely considered and taken on board) and I almost opened up and asked him what was going on and what I was feeling but the poor guy was swamped off his feet today. During his lunch break he disappeared into his dental surgery, with his door shut and I walked in on him to find him lying flat out dozing on his dental chair. Do you see what I mean when I say that we are a busy dental surgery? We have to have nanna naps to get through our day. I will try and speak to Andrew tomorrow.
On the lap band front something funny is happening. I have restriction times 10 ten thousand yet I have noticed I am getting hungry today. Isn’t it ironic that I have restriction yet I am experiencing real hunger pangs? Could it be that I skipped dinner last night and lunch today? Has anybody else experienced this?
I also feel huge and I mean HUGE today. I feel like I haven’t lost any weight at all and in fact I feel bigger than ever. I went to the loo today and looked down at my skirt. Its very loose around my waist and that put a smile on my face and then I looked at my reflection and thought that my cheeks looked swollen and huge. Wont this self-esteem issue I have ever get better? Or am I going to be stuck with this bitch of a friend for the rest of my life? She always has a way of darkening my day.
So today is over with and now its time to veg out on the sofa with Elvis. Our exercise regime starts as of this Saturday, as his vet has just given us the all clear for him to really go out there and pound the pavement with me.
I wanted to end today’s entry by saying how privileged I feel to have my banded friend Bee in my life. Girl, how can I thank you for everything? You are amazing and you just ROCK!
Reney
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3 comments:
Jeez girl Im right there with ya. I'm hatin on myself at the moment, feeling bigger than ever too...
is it hormonal??
*sob*
I hear ya baby, I get dressed in the morning, look in the mirror - think, "yeah, not bad", then throughout my day, happen to catch a reflection in the mirrored work building of this massive heffalump then startled, I realise it's me - and the ego starts to rapidly slide!!!!
I always find that if I wear my favourite outfit, the one that I feel most comfortable in and I know is flattering, it helps - it doesn't fix it - but it helps....
Probably we're just harder on ourselves than anyone else would be and we just need to lighten up; easier said than done!
Maree
Erin & Maree,
You know girls I sometimes do think its hormonal that we have a tendency to feeling like shite but then the other times I dunno how to say this nicely...hmmm..could it be the fuckintheheadness that I suffer from???
Reney
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