I have had the worst fucking day today. I got to work and thought, “I shouldn’t be here today” I just knew or almost predicted that this was going to be the shittiest day ever. And I wasn’t wrong either. A work colleague basically bulldozed me out of my desk and space and I basically stood around doing jack shit. I have a feeling that I am being slowly pushed out my position. I think that my services are no longer needed at work.
I am fine with that as I would love to take a few months off work and do my own thing but it would be nice to not have to deal with all this bullshit I am being put through. It would make things a lot easier if I was told straight up “Reney, thanks for working with us but its time for you to move on” or fucking just fire me. I just don’t get why I was even expected to be at work today?
Am I stressed out? No not really. I am pissed off though as I have given this work place 200% of me and I work my butt off. And what for? I now ask myself? I have been working now for 20 years. I asked myself tonight what I had learnt in my working career. My conclusions were that if you work hard you get NO respect, if you are loyal and honest you get NO respect, if you are rude to your clients and work colleagues you GET respect.
I had plans for tonight as I wanted to go to a Young Labor Party Gathering but instead I stayed back and was actually contemplating speaking to my boss and telling him that this evening was going to be my last day there as I figured its best if I get in first before they do. Then I thought nah fuck it they can fire me! I want to hear what I have done or what their reasoning may be to have to let me go.
This blog entry is coming across as rather nasty and that’s not my intention. You have to understand that my blog is me journaling, the good, the bad, the ugly. My boss and his wife are lovely people but having said that I just don’t think that my services are required any longer and I am frustrated that I am being treated this way, especially to people whom I have been loyal to. It pays to be a bitch in this world.
I skipped dinner tonight as I feel so tight inside and nauseous and this is all stress related mind you.
To end today’s entry I just want to apologize to Bee, Aunty Jules, Cath, Vicki, Amy, Leah, Paul from Freo, Maree, Kirst, Shirls, PeaBeu, Rish for not emailing you all. I have just been so busy and I am just exhausted. I will respond to all of you (especially to Bee) very soon and I am so sorry for being a slack bitch.
Signing off
A deflated Reney
P.S – Erika, once I get to my parents I will jump on the scales and tell you my weight, as for photos I have to wait for a friend or family member to come around and take some.
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1 comment:
Babe, dont worry about me... you need to spend all your time on you at the moment! Poor little girl... hang in there.... when you can take the emotion out of your feelings you should talk to your boss and sort out what is going on, just in case he isnt a ware. Your a good person so it has to all work out for you!
Lets catch up for lunch one weekend within the month, just let me know when your ready.
Bee xox
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