Ever since Mr. Wonderful Surgeon has asked me to skip exercise for one month I am left feeling rather lethargic and my body just feels so stiff. I am definitely getting exercise withdrawals especially on such a gorgeous day like today. The sun is shining and I could not help staring out my work window all day. I would give anything to be walking or running along St Kilda Beach today.
I have pushed and encouraged myself to eat more often (small amounts through out my day) I have been trying to find good healthy foods as snacks. Today I decided to try a banana.
I have not eaten fresh fruit like this for over 3 months and it all felt so new to me. I held the banana in my hand (out of the gutter you dirty birds) and just stared at it. Like what the fuck do I do with this? (Out of the gutter children!) So I peeled it back and scrapped off all the white stringy bits (Holy Mother of God this is sounding very porn-esque) I cut the banana into teeny weenie pieces and put the size of my thumb nail in my mouth and chewed.
The flavour and texture was sending explosions all over my mouth, tongue and palate (no matter how delicately I try and type this, it is dead set sounding porn-esque). I love fruit and I have so missed not physically eating them. I have been drinking all my fruits if that makes any sense.
I managed to eat 1/3 of my banana and for a few moments I was in bliss. Then WHAM we have obstruction. NOOOOO we have obstruction. I kind of hobbled around for a bit, rubbed my chest, kept swallowing, did the proud peacock dance and then this burp came out of nowhere followed by banana spew. I held it in my mouth as there was a patient in the waiting room and it was the most vile sensation having warm banana spew in my mouth and I casually walked over to the bathroom and let it all out.
Could bananas be out for good? Do I need to mash bananas into baby food consistency to be able to happily consume one? Because if that’s the case then I am not going to bother again. Mashing up banana would made me feel like I was some sort of edentulos old geriatric. Summer is coming up and the idea of sitting on my veranda (on the odd occasion of course) and eating crispy fresh fruit that’s come out of the cool fridge sounds absolutely delightful to me but will I be able to do this? Are there any bandsters out there who can help me and suggest when to eat fruit, how to eat fruit, and what fruit is a “no-no” for them?
On a non-band level, everything has been going well. I am still fighting this cold but hey it could be worse right? I have had a day of laughter with Alister ringing me at work and trying to throw me off with his jokes. He rang up and put on this funny yet sadly pathetic voice saying that his name was Mustafa Cutyournutsoff (yes folks, cut-your-nuts-off) and was quote: “Paining from a abscess” I haven’t laughed like this for quite a while and it was sooo nice to just let go of all my problems and issues and just play along with Alister and laugh. I think he rang me like 7 times today and had me in fits of laughter which sent me off into a coughing fit.
Its nice having friends like him around I just hope that he doesn’t think that I am leading him up the garden path and that we are going to get back together again as this is not what I want from him. He did throw in a few “digs” about ManBoy and kept referring to him as “Jamie”. I asked Alsiter if he would like to accompany ManBoy and I out to dinner and martinis (mocktinis for me sadly) this weekend and he quickly let out a:
A: “NO, why would I want to do that?”
R: “Because I think it would be nice for you to meet him and I think this dinner party will be the perfect place for you two to get to know one another”
A: “Has T. met him?”
R: “Well no, shit for brains, T. is in Sydney”
A: “So is this invitation so that you can hook me up with one of Jamie’s friends and that way I am out of your life for good? Is that what this is all about? Or do you just want to show me that you don’t need me”
R: “Darlin’ this invitation is so that you two can meet and why the fuck would I want to set you up with one of ManBoy’s friends? And by the way babe, I don’t need you or him or anybody for that matter”
A: “Yeah that’s what you keep telling me”
R: “So that’s a no I guess”
A: “I’m not ready to meet him”
Like what the fuck does that mean people? I am not ready to meet him???
Ahhhh men!!! So pathetic, so clueless, so dumb yet I personally can’t live with out them.
That’s my goss for today
Reney
P.S – Thanks to all of you who left comments about my blog, you guys are unforgettable and you all totally ROCK!!!
9 comments:
Good to see you back sweetie. Had the banana episode before (now you get your mind outta the gutter) except mine is with rice. I mean how can a few small grains of rice cause such agony. On the band front, I went back to my lovely suregeon and got filled...there you go again Reney. A band fill I mean. Now I have 6.5 mL n my band and I feel just like after surgery- not wanting much if at all. You know how men's appendages are likened to feet..big feet , big dick well I hope they don't say the same thing about band fills how much it takes to feel content to any part of a women's anatomy. Could I be in serious trouble or am I the envy of every woman??? Just another pearl to ponder. Just slap me if you think it's overshare on my behalf...but had to tell someone.
Love and many mung beans to you
Jules
oh no!!I dont want to not be able to eat banana's at the moment i can fine, sometimes i even have one for breakfast instead of cerial, yes bad i know but in a hurry sometimes.
Why have you not had fruit in so long tho? :S yeah i know you been having V8 etc but even i eating some fruits :P nearly 3 weeks for me!
Mel.!
Jules,
You are the funniest gal I have ever come across, have you considered writing your own blog? I think you write with a lot of humour and you seem like a very switched on kinda chick.
Do you seriously have trouble with rice? I think that’s the only food that I can eat without trouble so far. I guess it really is a case of everybody is just so different, what one person can eat doesn’t necessarily mean that another can tolerate. On the big feet big dick theory I like to think that big fills = bigger brains. You don’t want a big hoohaa (think about it..too loose down there…not a good thing)
Many mung beans to you too Jules and thanks for reading and leaving your very witty comments and of course your support. I know it sounds very “Koombaya” and hippy trippy…
Mel,
Yeah I haven’t had any fruit only because I was struggling to eat what I had in front of me as it was. Also I haven’t really experienced much hunger pains in 3 months, maybe all in up about 5 times in that time frame. Hence why the V8 juice worked well (and still works) for me.
Reney
Ohhh Babe,
You've reminded me, remember BANAL BANANA?????
I will be expecting your call the second you read this.
T.
Hello Reney,
Good to see your back on your blog. I feel so responsible for setting Psycho Sylvester off. I am so sorry.
You are doing great and it was nice catching up last night even though it was a quick cuppa.
You are looking simply stunning and gorgeous and I have to say the croaky voice sounded very sexy indeed.
As our gorgey T said you are a fighter and you have inspired me so much throughout our friendship, you have always helped me see other peoples perspective, you have been there for me as a friend supporting me and encouraging me to be better.
I know that if I am in trouble I know that you are there waiting to pick me up and help me.
Friends like you dont come around too often and I am so glad to have you in my life.
Love
Leah.B.
Hi,
you know what I want to know is this, what did you, T and this banal banana get up to? I thought you said T was gay?
I am intrigued Reney
Paul from Freo WA
Hi Reney, I have the same problem with Bananas, and other fruits, soo I dont often eat them.
But I'm certain that I ate too much fruit in the past and it contributed to the weight gain as it is high in carbs n sugar.
The best thing about the band though is I can actually eat whatever fruit I want and not feel guilty because I eat the smallest amount of it, just because you have a whole banana in front of you doesnt mean you have to eat it all, just eat a slice or two and put it in the fridge for later.
Glad to see you back.. Liv
Hey Guys (once again)
Leah please do not feel responsible, lets just forget about it. You are such a sweetie! Thanks for your comments and thanks for keeping my surg hush hush with you know who.
Pauly from Freo..T is gay and all I am allowed to say is 1 banana, 5 gay men and me sitting on the floor in absolute terror. T's gay club is like the masons if I speak Im dead.
Hey Liv thanks for reading my blog. I have to say its great that there is somebody else who cant eat bananas, I thought I was going nuts as how soft is a banana? Im starting to experiment each and every day and today I managed 2 whole strawberries which was awesome.
Love to you all
Reney
My name is?
My name is?
My name is?
Sam
understood?
Matt68
Post a Comment