Day 62 - Days like today are days when I wish I could piss standing up!!!

Days like today are days when I wish I could piss standing up!!! Day 3 of the Bikram Yoga Challenge was extremely painful to say the least. I am so sore I am having extreme difficulty in actually sitting down to take a piss, leak, wizz, slash, urination. FUCK I’m in agony. But hot damn if feels soooooo good.

I woke up and jumped out of bed wih Elvis. We kissed and cuddled on the sofa and I had the great pleasure of trying to stuff an antibiotic down his throat. I give up, no more antibiotics for Elvis. The colloidal silver in his water has been working a treat.

I digress; I got dressed and drove to yoga listening to Amy Winehouse through my car stereo. Man that bitch can sing like a motherfucker. Love it.

V.and I got into the Yoga Studio and I have to say that it was rather amusing for me to watch V suffer from the heat. Now wait, that sounds bad and I am not meaning for it to. What I am trying to say is that it was funny for me to watch her walk in and do that UHHHHHH that everyone does. We got comfortable on our mats and I whispered to V. “It’s fucking hot hey?” Her reply "Mmmmm not really, its rather comfortable." I thought to myself fucking hell its definitely not comfortable for me, hot damn I’m roasting. Just place a few spuds and pumpkin around me and my own sweat as basting and I’m a lamb roast.

20 minutes into the class V whispers "its hot” I had to turn my head away as I was ready to burst out laughing. My laugh is not a feminine soft girlie laugh it’s a roar. Another thing that was hysterical there was a girl in front of us who let out 2 massive farts. I was about ready to die from laughing and V. just pulled this disgusted look. It was amusing to say the least.

Anyway’s the heat got to me today badly (the temp went up to 42 degrees!!!) and at one point I felt dizzy and nauseous but Bikram says that if you are feeling these symptoms then its working. I pushed myself really hard today. Each stretch I went that bit further than yesterday and I noticed that today I had the shakes whilst holding my stretches. Yogini came by and said that was how she wanted me to be shaking and in pain.

Some of the asanas are based on your tummy. I tried them on Monday and it really was not comfortable on my port site so Yogini game me different asasnas to do whilst the rest of the class are based on their tummies. The exercises that I am doing are based on strengthening my lower back and thighs. I learnt today that these stretches are much harder than what the class is doing. Bring it on, is all I have to say about that.

So I got home and wait for this I was sooo full of energy I went into my garage and skipped for 20 minutes and then did some hand weights for about 15 minutes. By this stage I was ready to pass out. I then jumped in the shower and then raced around cleaning the house. I don’t understand how one person and one dog can make this house so bloody filthy. I think I need to stop collecting shoes as I had 4 pairs of boots and my ballet flats and not to forget my trainers strewn all over my bedroom. I also have a cupboard in my garage full of my summer shoes. I am a shoe addict baby.

I then caught up with V for a coffee at the organic cafe. I love hanging out with V she is a very special friend and I have mentioned her in my previous entries but I really feel grateful to have her in my life. I hide nothing from her and I tell her everything and it’s always so nice when she actually sits and listens to me. Really listens to me. I am usually the "listener" with the majority of my friends, family and co-workers so its nice when I get a turn to unleash what I am repressing within.

Food wise I haven’t really had much to eat today...I’ve had 4 litres of water, 2 coffees and a V8 (apple plum fusion) juice for lunch. I was on the GO, GO, GO today. Dinner is cooking as we speak I am having a miso tofu energy roll (which is basically a sausage roll without the meat, heaps of vegies and tofu mushed together with bits of barley, linseed, ginger and lemongrass) That may sound disgusting to some and it looks pretty average but hot darn it tastes soooo good.

Personally I am really happy with myself today. I took on this Bikram Yoga Challenge and deep down I thought that I would not make it to day 3 but I am really pleased with myself. I’ve done it and I now only have 4 more days to go. If I have made it this far then I can make it even further. I never have really believed in myself before. Not like now. I have said it before and I will say it again everything I want is within my grasp and it IS attainable. I used to laugh when a past Yogi of mine used to say to me "Reney, clear that head of yours...I can see you, I can see through you, you are transparent to me yet you refuse to let go” In my head I was like what the fuck do you know, but now in hindsight he was right.

I’ve always got to be in control. ALWAYS. My exterior armour was always in control and bullets could bounce off me yet internally I was dying day by day. Ohhh crap!!! I am now crying my eyes out writing this down. I’m not hormonal as Aunty Mabel went back to Ovary Land a few days ago. But I am crying because I can’t believe I am saying this out aloud. I’m no hard arse I’m just a soft cock.

I was always so angry at myself, at the world and now, I don’t what’s come over me I just feel that "Reney its okay to live, its okay to be happy, its okay to be you” oh fuck my tears are pouring all over my laptop.

Has doing yoga made me so emotional and so honest? Hmmm maybe a little bit but I also feel like I am slowly disarming or disrobing my complex layers. I feel like an onion, I’m slowly peeling away layer upon layer and I’m coming out. (I just smell like arse crack and not onions that's probably the only difference)

I’ve got to stop writing as I’m a basket case (but in a good way) at the moment.

Namaste


Reney