Day 57 - Elvis is sick!!!

My poor, poor baby…my four-legged son, Elvis is very sick. I’m distraught and can’t stop crying.

I had planned a very busy night. I was supposed to go to Bikram Yoga with friends tonight and then I was going to go to ManBoy’s place for coffee. Instead I came home at lunchtime and found my dad who was very panic-stricken saying that Elvis has spent the past hour or so coughing.

I immediately thought....Ohhh ohhhh kennel cough? He caught this last year and it took him 3 weeks to get over it and 2 lots of antibiotics. I immediately rang the vet and got him booked in for 5.15 tonight.

I rang everyone and cancelled my plans for the evening and for the whole weekend as Elvis needs lovin’ and hugs and kisses and nothing but my 100 percent attention. My poor little man. Elvis comes before anyone and anything.

We raced to the vet and Emma the vet said that he had contracted Kennel Cough once again. I don’t understand how he catches this when he has never been to a kennel and I don’t allow him to socialise with other dogs that I don’t know. I’m a bit of a dog snob sorry. I’m cool with him hanging with Bucks, Violet, Lily and Bruno (our neighbours) but they are all apparently fine.

I’ve now got my little man sitting right next to me and he just looks like shit and my tears haven’t stopped. This is another reason why I couldn’t become a mother, I freak out over my dog being sick so imagine if my spawn was sick???

I am going to delve deep into my past and tell you about what poor Elvis has been through. At the time I was living with Drunk, Thief, Cant get it up, whom we will refer to as from this point as DTC. Basically whilst I was at work and DTC was at home drinking all day and stealing money from my bank accounts, DTC used to lock Elvis up in my shower cubicle. For 10+ hours.

Elvis was only a 6-week-old puppy at the time and okay he was (and still is) a handful. DTC was too busy going into the casino to gamble my money away and couldn’t be bothered looking after Elvis. I had an idea that something weird was going on with Elvis as the poor thing had shit all over himself and looked very malnourished and I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t eating his food during the day.

So one day I came home early from work and DTC wasn’t home so I raced around the house calling out for Elvis. I heard him barking out from my bathroom and there he was in the shower. I remember opening the shower door and the poor dog running for his water bowl to drink water. I freaked out. I couldn’t believe what I had just seen. I picked up Elvis and cuddled him and kissed him and hand fed him and then rocked him in my arms until he fell asleep.

I picked the phone up and rang DTC who was too drunk and incoherent and told him that he shouldn’t come home that night as I was going to stab him. I was going to physically harm him and then lock him in the shower for 24 hours and see whether he liked it.

I don’t know what possessed me but I rang my alarm company and asked them what time my alarm was activated that morning. I wanted to see how long poor Elvis was locked in the shower with no food or water. I left home at 6.30am and DTC had left home at 7.00am. It was now 7.00pm, which meant that Elvis had been locked in the shower since 7.00am that makes it 12 hours locked up.

To cut a very long and sad story short Elvis was moved to my parents place and I slept in the same bed (with one eye open every single night) with DTC for the next 2 weeks and then got him on the first plane and sent him back to the shit hole that he came from (Holiday Romance Gone Wrong)

Elvis then moved back home with his mummy and we have been together ever since. He is truly my best mate and I love him so much. Hence why this hard arse (me) is crying so much as she types this.

I can’t talk anymore….


Reney

P.S If any motherfucker even attempts to torture my dog again, let it be known that I will kill him with my own bare hands.