Day 29 – Finding the right gymnasium for ME

Well since I am now at 4 weeks post op my wonderful surgeon has advised me to start daily cardio work.

As I have mentioned its my dream to start running but don’t laugh now but I don’t know how to run. It aint as simple as I initially thought it was. Don’t think I haven’t tried. I am only managing to walk 40 steps and then run 40 steps.

So I dragged my arse around to a few gyms that are in my neighbourhood. They were all pretty good gymnasiums but at the same time I hated all of them. I walked into the first one and the minute I stepped in I clammed up and felt really and I mean really uncomfortable. I hate them.

I looked to one side of the gym and I felt extremely intimidated by the beautiful, yuppie sucks that were working out and then I looked to the other and I'm dead set serious there were about 50 steroid fuelled twats looking at their reflections and flexing their pecks. Ewww it was so damn gross. You know what? Some of the guys had better plucked eyebrows than I did. It was soooo funny.

At one point I had to place my hand over my mouth as I was laughing my head off. My friend Alister had come along for moral support and we were in hysterics. You’ve probably gathered that I find humour in a lot of stupid things. But as I was saying Alister and I were in fits of laughter because the weight lifters were grunting so loudly. If I have offended any weight lifters my sincerest apologies but damn you dudes sure make a lot of noise. At one point I started to snort from laughter and Alister had to pinch me really hard so I could stop. It was a classic moment and I guess you all should have been there. I’m laughing uncontrollably as I sit here and write this. Hahhaahahahahahaaaa!!!

There was this one character who looked like and sounded like he was taking a dump. That translates to trying to do a pooh. He was pushing and panting and groaning. Just thinking about it starts the hysterics again.

Anyways, I sat down and spoke to a gym representative who talked and talked and talked and tried to sell me a membership. He kept asking me if “I was worth it?” I was thinking to myself dude if only you knew how much I'm bloody “worth it” I told him I would think about it for a couple of days and I would get back to him.

We then drove to a female only gym. It was …it was…dull. I still hated being in there and I still felt intimidated with all the skinny bitches that were in there. Then it hit me; there were no men to perve at. I mean what better pleasure is there than to be sitting on a bike peddling your arse off whilst checking out a guy working out. You gotta love that. Right?

The other thing I found in all the gyms we went to was how much these gyms encouraged weight training. Now I don’t mind doing SOME weight training but at the end of the day I’m a GIRL. GIRLS don’t lift weights, like I said before we sit back and watch guys lift weights. I don’t want muscle definition I just want to be toned. I don’t want to loose my curves, I want to feel womanly and I want some lady humps.

A few of the gym representatives who were showing me around their gyms were quite adamant on the importance of weight training. I hear them but I don’t want to do that. I want to do as my surgeon has advised cardio, cardio, cardio.

So after going to 5 gyms I have narrowed it down to 2 and before I sign on the dotted line I decided to think about it over the weekend and then make my decision.


I must keep on moving, moving, moving and start really burning some fat and lard I have been holding on to for way too long.


Reney