Day 160 - Reney The Serial Pest and The Serial Shoe Addict!!!

I physically did not sleep a wink last night. I tried everything and I mean everything so I gave up on it and let Elvis, who by the way is a Jack Russell and weighs a mere 8 kilos hog my entire king size bed. I got up and decided to catalog my shoes. Yes folks I not only have a food addiction but I have a shoe addiction as well.

I sat taking Polaroid’s of all my shoes and then sticking the photos on the boxes. I have to say this; I kept trying on my beautiful, beautiful shoes and admiring my feet. NO I don’t have a foot fetish but my obsession and addiction with shoes has seen me buy shoes that are way too snug and tight. I bought them with the intention of one day I will loose weight and they will fit. Have you done this before? Or am I the only freak? Well I am glad to say that my shoes are actually becoming way too big. It left me questioning, do feet really get smaller with weight loss?

I used to wear a size 9 ½ but the past 3 years sadly saw my feet swelling and getting bigger and bigger and the only comfort I found was in size 10 shoes. Now that’s a fucking huge foot for someone that is 5 foot 6 inches. I tried on a pair of silver flats that I lived in last year that are sized 10. Last night I tripped over my feet and my foot looked encompassed in this huge shoe.

As sad as I was that my shoes no longer fit as they are the most gorgeous shoes I own I was ecstatic that my feet are becoming so much smaller. What next? Could I finally fit into zip on knee high black boots?? Could this really happen? That possibly in 12 months time boots will really and truly fit?? Oh my god ORGASMIC!!! Having said all that I can part with my clothes but not my shoes. I have a cupboard, okay 2 cupboards in my garage strictly dedicated to my shoes. One is for “Winter Shoes” and the other for my “Summer Shoes”. I have a pair of shoes in there that I wore to my 21st birthday party. I cannot and shall not part with them.

May my eulogy read, “Reney, lover of fine food and lover of fantastic shoes”

So as I was saying, due to me winding myself up so much I was still bouncing off the walls and by 2am I decided to clean the elusive 2nd drawer in my kitchen. Am I the only one who has a second drawer full of crap? You name it I had it in there. Things like a balloon, screwdriver, paid bills, old VISA card, clothes pegs, some mints, a bag of jelly beans, chopsticks, coins, a cake of soap and on and on and on.

Come 4am I decided that if I was awake then ManBoy deserved to be awake. Yes folks I rang him at 4am.

M: Grunt..Wha?..mmmm….pfffaaa, hello?
R: (In a very chirpy voice) Well hello there, its me, are you awake?
M: Who is this?
R: Its me silly
M: Are you alright? Is everything ok? What time is it?
R: Ohhh I’m fine, just a bit bored, I was wondering’ if you felt like a chat and its about 4 o’clock in the morning
M: Have you have lost your mind?
And he hung up on me (one of my pet peeves don’t ever hang up on me it shits the life out of me) So I rang him again (as you do)
R: Hey man don’t hang up on me like that, I don’t like it.
M: You don’t like it hey?
Clunk! He hangs up on me yet again!!!
So I rang him for a third time and this time I was pissing myself from laughter, I found this totally amusing and was hysterical by this stage.
M: Whhhaaaaat!!!!! And this better be good Reney!
R: I can’t sleep and I am bored and I want to talk to someone
So I basically sat there holding the phone talking to myself and ManBoy’s heavy breathing in the background. He makes the cutest little noises when he sleeps. Sorta like this “hmmpfff, ssss,zzz, hmmpff”
H-I-L-A-R-I-O-US I tell you!! I hung up at about 4.50am as by this stage ManBoy;s cute noises had become huge and roaring snores.

I got to work and it was jamming this morning. There were staff members and patients like everywhere and it was sheer chaos, so much so that I decided to stay in at work for lunch and since I had bought no food along Ash decided that we were going to have a “Wicked Wednesday” which interprets to The Junk Food Run. The junk on today’s menu was McDonalds.

Don’t tut tut me; I haven’t had Maccas for ages. The last time I had it was back at Day 117 and it nearly killed me then and you would think that FUCKWIT Reney would understand that McDonalds is a NO GO zone. But ohhhh no the rebellious bitch that I am says yes please to a serving of nuggets and fries. I took teeny tiny bites and all was looking great. So 1 and a half nuggets and I don’t know about 7 fries later I am heaving my guts up in the bathroom, not once, not twice, not even three times but four times!!! Don’t forget readers I am supposed to be a vegetarian!! Nuggets are not vegetarian now are they?

It began with these really loud and out of control hiccups that had me panicking, holy shit I thought to myself my band is probably about to slip off (my major fear) I spent 45 minutes in the bathroom dry retching and then whamo bamo spewage, spewage, spewage. At one stage I hear a tap on the toilet door, opened the loo door and there stood a very concerned Andrew (my boss) asking me if I am all right. I think I nodded at him and mumbled something, as my chest pains were that severe. It hurt heaps.

After my fourth chuck I just wanted to curl my entire body on the toilet floor from sheer and utter exhaustion and die. But no, I told myself it was okay, today was just another vomit and I would never ever even attempt Maccas again and that’s that. My spewage today was punishment and I state this loud and clear on my blog, here and now, and I expect each and every one of you to go off your tits at me if you ever hear me say I ate McDonalds again.

I will never EVER eat McDonalds ever EVER again!

That’s been my last 24 hours in a nutshell.

Peace, Love & Mung Beans to you!

Reney