I don’t like to weigh myself as the numbers fuck with my head, fuck with my self-esteem and fuck with my self worth. I am scared to be weighed. I hate it, I loathe it and I fear jumping on the scales and seeing what damage I have done to myself. I would seriously prefer to pet a snake whilst having cockroaches crawl all over my body than weigh myself.
Okay, so having said all that I hope you now understand and realize why I don’t weigh myself. Every time you readers ask me where I am at with my weight loss I cringe. I hate it. But I have to real to not only myself but to you my readers. I mean, lets get real this blog is supposed to be a little bit about my weight loss right?
So drum roll please, brrrrrr, brrrrrr, brrrrr (that’s the drum roll) I jumped on the scales at mums and my starting weight was 120 kilos and I am now down to 93 kilos which is a total loss of 27 kilos in 5 months and 1 day post surgery. It has taken me YEARS to get to double digits. I feel like this is all a dream. Is this a dream? Is this real?
I jumped on and off 15 times holding my breath each and every time. Do other people have this sort of relationship with the scales or is it just me?
Am I happy? I am fucking ecstatic. This for me has to be my personal best that I have ever achieved. Do I still have a long way to go? Absofuckinglutely but I am happy with my progress. I know of a lot of people who have lost heaps more and in a shorter span of time and I am ever so proud of them but sadly my body or my metabolism is always a lot slower than others. Even with all the movement and exercise. Ce la vie!!
I don’t know when I will weigh myself next. I know I will do it but it wont be for a while. If you could only have felt my heart prior to stepping on the scales. My heart was thumping; I was internally questioning myself on how badly I had eaten. I felt guilty and I don’t know why. I have a very bad relationship with the scales. I am sometimes on the verge of hyperventilating.
So I sign off, chuffed and happy with myself and happy that I have had this surgery. Yeah I know I have questioned this whole surgery a few days back and there are days when I want the band out especially with all the vomiting but friends, haters, family, everyone its all good!!
Peace Out
Reney
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6 comments:
That is awesome reney!! congrats!!! I hate scales aswell, but am going to weigh myself tomorrow at the gym i have a surgeon appt on monday for another fill, so hopefully im lighter by then haha.
Mel.!
congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry Reney! Didn't mean to make you panic and hyperventilate but think how good you feel now, knowing that this has all been worth it! 27 Kilos is absolutely awesome!!! You go girl, the only way is down now!! Thanks for filling all of us loyal readers in on the numbers, you are going fabulously!!!!
Maree
Hello Girls,
Maree please do not apologise!!! No, no, no!!! I had to weigh myself and everyone and I mean everyone has been emailing me and asking me so I bit the bullet, closed my eyes took a deep breath in and did it. Makes me wonder though, do you weigh more if you are holding your breath???
Also, thanks Rish and Mel!!!
Love yas
Reney
Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!, you did it! And the result was simply AWESOME! From your pics, you didn't look 120 to begin with.. but WOW 27kg in 5 months is phenomenal.. over 5kg a month, you've got to be happy with that eh? Looking forward to the next weigh in!
Erika xx
Hey Erika,
Yes I did it.
And YES my starting weight was indeed 120 kilos.
R
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