Day 148 – Band Slippage?!@#?

I was up at the crack of dawn this morning. How is it that I am full of beans when I have a day off work? I managed a mere 4 hours sleep and basically my entire day was spent running from one errand to another.

The second I awoke I sat up in bed and Elvis lets out the most hilarious grunt, lifts his head up, takes one look at me and goes back to sleep. I waddled (and yeah I do waddle when I wake up) into my kitchen and did what I have done every morning for the past I dunno 25 odd years; I took a swig of water. I am a creature of habit I guess and I paused. Nope, thank God nothing came back up. Ripper man I thought to myself.

I threw a load of laundry on and began racing around the house trying to organize myself and kept looking through my diary over and over again. I showered, painted my face on and tamed my hair (God Bless the GHD Straightener, it has to be the best thing ever created) and then as I took a sip of my morning V8 juice my home phone rang and it was Mr. Wonderful Surgeon. Our conversation went something a little like this:

WS: Yes good morning is this Reney?
R: Yeah (I am a grumpy son of a bitch first thing in the morning)
WS: well, well, she finally answers her phone
R: who is this?
WS: Its Mr. Wonderful Surgeon
My heart went boom boom boom boom BOOOOOOMMMMMMM
R: I’ve lost my mobile Doc. That’s why you couldn’t get through to me
WS: look (the stud cuts me off and starts with his instructions) I want you to go for a Barium Swallow and then I would like you to wait for your films and bring them straight over to me.
R: Why?
WS: Why what?
R: Why? Why do I have to have the scan done?
WS: You are an intelligent woman, you tell me why you think I want you to have this done
R: Okay doc, I’m on way now

I knew exactly why he was requesting these tests. I just thought it was my overactive paranoid brain working overtime but I guess I could no longer hide from the facts. He thinks what I have been thinking and now was the time to find out exactly what was going on inside me. What have we been thinking? Slippage. Has my band slipped?

I have been experiencing SOME symptoms of band slippage and as usual my life never runs smoothly there’s always another and another obstacle that I am forced to get through. But its okay, Nietzsche has taught me “That what doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger” My mantra that has successfully gotten me through my life and through all my obstacles.

I’m going to be strong I told myself and I have to be strong. I have been through worse shit that this and I am a tough mole I can and will get through this. So what’s the worse case scenario? If the band has slipped then we organize another surgery and so be fucking it. It’s all going to be ok.

I drove to the hospital and told the girl that my surgeon had instructed me to come straight over. Then the wait began. I had to wait 40 minutes and sat staring into space just thinking about things. I didn’t feel sorry for myself. I was just feeling antsy about the actual results.

I was called in and got stripped down to my knickers only and placed my gown on and then waited in this little cubicle and waited and waited for another eternity. About 15 odd minutes later, I was called into another room and off we went. I swallowed the putrid chalky shit and click, bang wallop, ping over with. I asked the radiographer if my band had slipped and she told me that she was not permitted to tell me. Breathe Reney, breathe…she is just doing her job, and breathe.

I went back out to the reception forked over $410 dollars and waited to be handed my scans. I snatched them out of the girls hand and raced outside. I stood in broad day light, ripped the envelope open and looked at them with the sun illuminating through. To me, it did not seem like there had been slippage.

I drove up the hill and raced into his rooms. I was kept waiting about 5 minutes and then Mr. WS opened up the door and called me in. He asked me whether I had opened the envelope and I replied with “Well what you think?” So the smart arse says to me “Well tell me what you see” “I see jack shit, it’s all placed where it should be and I don’t believe that my band has slipped” “Very good Miss Reney” yeah shut up before I punch your lights out I thought to myself. But HOT DARN man, you are soooo hot.

So thankfully, my band hasn’t slipped and all is looking hunky dory inside. Mr. WS made me lay down on the examination table and he was very chatty and I had basically depleted my energy levels and just had no energy to even speak. I lay there and I took what he gave me (tut tut you dirty birdies)

Mr. Wonderful Surgeon took out only half a mil and then handed me a glass of water and told me to sit down and have a chat with him. I have to say he was very patient with me and did not rush me out the door, which he has never really done with me. It was nice I must say. I told him that I wanted a tit lift (Erin this is because of your influence) and my arse lifted when I got to goal weight and the motherfucker started laughing at me.

After I left his rooms, I sat in my car for 10 minutes and just sat there relieved. I have thrown up so much these last few months. I have thrown up a lot. Painful spews. Restriction fucked me over big time.

PLEASE people I implore you. Don’t play the hero and the diva like I did. I beg you. I have been through hell with all this vomiting. I knew that the lap band wasn’t going to be easy but it didn’t have to be so hard. I admit, I kept persevering with the tightness and the restriction because I physically just couldn’t get time off work, as this was a very busy time. I have now learnt that I must come FIRST. My health is important. My hair has thinned out substantially and I was punishing my body.

I don’t want to come across as a know it all because I am far from that but I just want to express that WE need to look after ourselves and try and listen to our bodies.

Take care all

Reney

P.S – Bianca, you made it…see I told ya so!!! Glad to meet you in person finally!!!