Woke up early this morning, let Elvis out to do his thing and I then crashed on the sofa drifting in and out of sleep. Ahhhh lazy weekends gotta love ‘em.
I decided to put a face mask on hoping that would help this dry skin. What is absolutely hysterical is that when Elvis took one look at me, he tilted his head to one side and then ran but kept turning around whilst running and looking at me at the same time. Hahahaha. I can’t stop laughing. The poor thing freaked out. Ohmigod, so funny.
I spent a lot of time on the phone today with my bro and his girlfriend S. It was a weird day to say the least. How so? Well, I actually believed that my brother’s girlfriend S disliked me and I guess I had put up huge barricades around me. Today though, I think I can say this, we discussed some things and maybe, hopefully we are on the way to building a better relationship. S. means a lot to my bro and that’s all that matters at the end of the day. My brother’s happiness means everything to me. S. and I need to sit down and really talk and I am sure somewhere down the track we will get that opportunity.
I then was on the phone with ManBoy for a while and that was funny. He is itching to know about my blog. I almost told him. Almost. He was talking to me and in my head I was telling myself “just tell him, tell him” but chickened out. I usually don’t hold back but I’m sort of thinking that does it really matter? Does it really matter that I have this little secret and it’s the lap band? I mean big deal right? Its not like I have a criminal record (which he has most likely checked me out anyway what with him being a lawyer) or I am a drug addict or something horrendous like that. It’s JUST a fucking lap band. Why the stupid secrecy? Why tell some people and not others? I mean Alister knows and he likes me just the same, so why not ManBoy?
It’s been a reflective sort of day, I’ve been thinking a lot about this whole surgery. This is the happiest and healthiest I have been my entire life and I don’t want to hide behind this secret. It kind of depresses me and brings me down that I am hiding the fact. Let me elaborate, how can I talk about my lap band so openly on my blog when I hide the fact that I have had it done to some people that are close to me? It’s hypocritical on my behalf. In the same breath its not like I am going to meet new people and I am going to say, “Hi, I’m Reney, I’m 37 and I have a lap band”
But its funny also because I have spoken to so many bandsters, and we have this tendency to openly discuss our lap band with some but not with others. Why do we do this? I guess we, as humans can be very complex creatures (and I am probably the Queen of Complexities)
I also thought about things and how I miss Gee. Gee has said some stupid and I mean stupid things that I apparently have said. I believe that deep down she knows I didn’t say the things I am being sacrificed for saying. I would NEVER deliberately hurt her or her family, I just guess its like what I mentioned earlier we as humans are complex creatures. I guess this whole matter could have been dealt with better. So I picked the phone up and basically just said HI. We had a chat (90 minute chat) and it was nice catching up with her I hope we can rebuild what we had and if we cant I still love and care for her very much and I love her kids to bits.
So it’s been a reflective sort of day and an introspective one to say the least. Its funny how certain people come into your life, cause their havoc and in the process I get to focus on my relationships around me and things sorta get sorted.
Enjoy your Saturday night folks, be good to one another!
Reney
P.S – I forgot to mention a huge shout out to my cousin Foff. Foff it’s been ages since we spoke thanks for leaving your anonymous messages they have been thoroughly amusing. Glad to see you haven’t changed! Stay beautiful.
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