I did not get a wink of sleep last night, I tossed and turned and moaned and groaned and kept rocking myself in bed.
I prayed for daylight to come nice and quick, as I had to do something about the pain. I rang my boss and spoke to Maria (my boss’ wife) and told her I can’t come into work I am fucked. I got dressed and drove myself to the nearest public hospital. After waiting a few hours (Dear Mr.Michael Moore in relation to your new doco called Sicko, well maybe you should do a documentary based in Australia, as our hospital system just sucks) Do not get me started on the state of our public hospital system. I have Private Health Insurance but was still made to wait!!! If i wasn't in so much agony I would have gone to another hospital. I digress...I got called in and I cant bear to go into it. I was violated up the butt hole with a butt plug or as T. refers to them as bullets.
To make matters worse the Doc was cute in a "George Clooney - ER" kind of way and was more interested about talking about my lap band. I was praying, “Please Doc, just concentrate getting it up my butt in one go. Lets do this nice and quick and let’s just get it over with. I don’t need chitchat. Just do it, do it, do it.”
I have been violated and I feel all icky. I feel dirty, I feel ewwwwww. The doc didn’t even ask me if I wanted a lolly anything to bribe me. Thank Christ Afroditi (my hoohaa) had been to the hairdressers (Erin, you see…if its tidy down there it aint so embarrassing)
I came home threw the door open and ran like a motherfucker to the dunny and to cut a very long story short I gave birth to The Rock of Gibraltar. There was no time for contractions it was forcing its way out of me. I have now showered and scrubbed myself everywhere and I now feel amazing. The rest of my day will be based at home as I am still shitting rocks and bricks but the pressure in my guts has gone. I feel so human again and my mum says that I have color back in my cheeks.
So I’ve told you all about it and I don’t want to discuss it again. Ever. I feel desecrated, I feel forced, and I feel like I seized all my control to the Doc.
That’s all that I have to say today.
A violated Reney.
P.S – T. I don’t want to hear about it. Don’t call me, don’t sms me, don’t leave any comments. I need to forget this experience.
6 comments:
Hun,
Welcome to MY world. Was it great? See deep down you are a greek girl at heart.
I cannot stop laughing at you. You are f*****g funny.
What have you always said about fear? You will need to remind me.
Must fly my patient has arrived.
T.
Hi,
Congratulations on the new arrival!!
I have one word -
Actilax
Look it up/research it , buy it , drink it.
Beth
Hey T & Beth,
Firstly, T. go and get yourself fucked and secondly I'm going to tell my mum on you. She's not going to love you anymore for saying that about Greek girls!!
Lastly my take on fear is as follows: "whatever you fear manifests itself, so fear NOTHING" Having said that I fear the butt plugs. There are you happy? I've said it.
Lovely Beth, thank you for the "congratulations" Rock of Gibraltar weighed a healthy kilo. I will research this Actilax further sounds interesting. Thanks for the suggestion.
Reney
I was just thinking maybe the bikram yoga was the caus... loss of so much fluid and not being able to hydrate properly or quickly enough and a bit of shock to the body, led to water from the bowel being absorbed.. and I know that for me eating less I get less bowel movements, so slower bowels minus water caused the blockage??? guess I'm just curious what do you think???(I've hed the whole butt plug thing too. awful but such a relief!!!)
To Anonymous,
Im with you 100% with The Bikram Theory. I too thought the exact same thing.
Reney
Reney,
Truely..... you are a classic!!! Glad to see nothing...I mean nothing is sacred.
Told you that Bikram stuff was bad for you...it was all your arse juices that you kept tasting, it dehydrated your insides.
I think instead of Bikram you should try sex in a sauna, friggin hot and exercise but at least Aphroditie will get something out of it !!!!!
Tarn
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