Day 60 - Bikram Yoga

This weekend just went too fast for my liking. The alarm sung out at 6.ooam and I spent the next half hour hitting the snooze button. I hate Mondays!!!!

Whilst at work today my “friend” Alister came to say Hi. I hadn’t seen him for a few weeks and the last time we spoke well….he got cross with me because I was on my first date with ManBoy and I think his feelings got hurt.

Alister and I have dated on and off for about 5 years now (much to my mothers dislike) and we were sort of back together from the middle of last year but he went on a dating website (a friend rang me and told me to go look and there he was) So that was the final straw. I told him that friendship would work better for us than a relationship would. I also called him a liar and a cunt (NO HATE MAIL…I find that word VERY empowering which I will discuss in another blog entry down the track) I also told him to fuck off and I hope he caught an STD and had itchy balls for the rest of his life.(Yes that’s exactly what I told him)

As I was saying…he came in and said “Bugalugs you look great” I thanked him (by saying Yeah? Fuck Off!!!) And then he grabbed my hand and twirled me around to take a good look at me, and he kept twirling me around and around again and left me all dizzy and smashing into the wall (which I kinda enjoyed) and had him laughing. Then I flashed my tits at him. Old habits die hard. It was nice hearing such a nice compliment from someone that I will always care about. As much as he can be a shit he is also a wonderful friend.

Work was crazeeee and I was so pleased that I got to finish on time as I have accepted a physical challenge. The challenge is 7 consecutive days doing Bikram Yoga. Throw me a challenge and I will do it. I finished work and drove like a maniac to my Yoga Class I was thankful to have made it in time.

So a little information of this style of yoga. Bikram is based on the teachings of Bikram Choudhury. He designed a 90-minute program or session that apparently delivers total health to every system in the body. In prevents illness, injuries and apparently limits the effects of aging (nice one) There are 26 postures or asanas and 2 breathing exercises called pranayamas. The room is heated up to a minimum of 39 Degrees Celsius. The room is heated up so that you warm up your muscles, prevent injury, are able to do a deeper workout and clean the body by flushing out toxins. This method also stimulates the organs, glands and nerves.

So let me describe tonight’s events. I got into my yoga gear, which consisted of skin tight leggings, a sports bra to hold my girls in and a singlet. For the first time in my entire existence I looked and felt fantabulous and did not even give a shit about exposing my body. I flashed my arms, flashed my arse I flashed it all and I felt simply amazing. It was definitely an important part of the evening.

I then walked into the heated room and BAM the heat was right in your face literally. I inhaled and went UUUHHHHHHHHHH. I sucked in as much air as I could and felt the warmth trickle into my lungs and then felt my eyes dry up. I wanted to yell out “I’m melting! I’m melting!” like The Wicked Witch of the West, but for ONCE I kept my mouth shut.

Initially it was pleasant, for like 5 minutes and then I started to perspire. It was literally coming out of each and every pore. Even pores that I never knew I had. The more people that were coming in the more it started to smell like armpits. Dirty, filthy, hairy armpits. I kept chanting in my head, ignore the smell, ignore the smell. It will go away. Thank God for the perfume on my wrist as I kept slowly lifting my wrist to my nose and inhale….inhale…inhale.

The yoga class lasted 90 minutes and I was saturated. It literally looked like I had jumped in a pool of water and walked out. The asanas were darn hard to do but it was so weird as I felt that because I was so warm I could stretch my body further and further. I had a guy in front of me whom I basically followed and copied all his moves as four eyes here had taken her glasses off. The physique on this guy was fucking amazing. He did not have a skerrick of fat on him. And the positions!!!!! Ohmigod (remember one word) it was out of this world.

The only negative thing I have to say is that I personally smelt like arse crack. Have you ever smelt your own sweat? Its horrendous. Even now I have scrubbed my skin red raw and placed on roll on deodorant, spray deodorant, perfume and I can still smell my arse crack. The amount of sweat pouring out of me was freaky. When I stood up about a cup full of sweat just poured out of my hoohaa and bum area. How yummy is that? NOT!!!!!!

As hot as it got and as uncomfortable as it was I felt so energised and alive afterwards. I can’t wait for day light savings to hit, as my plan is to do a class of Bikram and then run home.

Anyways, I don’t know if anyone is really interested in this but doing 90 minutes of Bikram yoga you can actually burn anywhere between 500-900 calories. That’s a lot considering 1 hour of intense sex only burns 100 calories, 400 calories skipping rope for half an hour. You don’t need to be flexible or fit to do this style (or any other style) of yoga for that matter.

So I accept this challenge and Day 1 was hard, very hard and very challenging but I made it through. I am excited about going to Day 2!


Reney.

P.S The above picture is of me doing this pose. I look great don’t I? Ever so flexible.