Day 47 - Chocolate

After so many days I decided that I wanted a piece of chocolate. So I ate a Freddo Frog. It’s my first piece of chocolate in nearly 9 weeks. Did I loose control of my willpower? No. Did I succumb into temptation? No. I just wanted one and I had one. It’s seriously that simple.

It tasted soooo damn good and thankfully one Freddo was more than enough. I was also feeling cocky and wanted to test myself, I wanted to see if one chocolate would suffice. Happily it was.

I had to take photos of myself so I could share the experience. The one of me with my eyes closed is partly me feeling very guilty for eating something naughty and partly out of orgasmic bliss. Why does something that tastes so darn good have to be so damn bad for you?

So I ate the Freddo but I had to burn that Freddo off. In fact I fretted about it. I spent over an hour doing my head in.
-“Okay Reney, you ate the chocolate and that’s okay but you know you shouldn’t have”
-“ Well yes you should of it was only a Freddo and all you need to do is work it off”
-“ But Reney you told yourself and your readers that you treat your body like a machine isn’t this hypocritical?"
- “But your body is a machine, you are burning calories, you are eating good healthy food, come on it was only a little bit of chocolate,”
And in my head I’m singing the mighty Ramones – "I want to be sedated"

You see readers, this is why I am a nut, I not only have to battle with my guilt, I have to battle with the other motherfuckers who live in my fucking head. Argggghhhh. Someone medicate me.

I decided that instead of running tonight I would grab a skipping rope that I bought a few weeks back and I went into my garage and skipped rope for 45 minutes. It was so much fun. My heart was racing. Let me add it’s not an easy exercise to do for 45 minutes.

I am so stoked that I now have 3 exercises that I thoroughly enjoy. I love to run; I like my version the stepper and now the skipping rope. I have decided that I must go and buy some hand and ankle weights tomorrow and I think it would be great to use them when I skip rope.

Are there any personal trainers out there who can advise me if this exercise regime is a good one?

I have tomorrow off work (I am now working a 9 day fortnight ...and I am loving it) and I endeavour to sign up for swimming lessons at my local pool. I am not a very strong swimmer in fact I’m sometimes a sinker. Hahahahhaha. I would love to be able to swim laps and laps and laps. I know that one day soon I will be. A friend asked me the other day if I was embarrassed to be having swimming lessons at my age and I told him that he was nuts. I have nothing to be embarrassed about and can’t you tell, I have no shame.

I can do anything I set my heart & mind to. Absolutely anything. I find that so exhilarating and empowering.

My respiratory physician was the one who first recommended swimming to me and advised me that this would really strengthen my lungs. I am still holding my breath quite a bit and I catch myself doing it all the time. It’s hard to change the way you breathe if you have been breathing like this since you were a little person. I don’t use my diaphragm to breathe I apparently just use my chest.

Work was so busy but I have to say I had such a laugh with my boss Andrew today. It was hysterical to watch him wipe his tears of laughter away. When he and I get together and I start talking my smut its hilarious as we laugh like little girls. Heee heee. You know I’ve been thinking about it all afternoon and pissing myself laughing.

Well my coffee awaits me.

Peace!!! Out!!!

Reney