Day 28 – Happy Anniversary Reney!

Happy Anniversary to me!!!

4 weeks ago today I was banded. I cannot believe how fast time flies.

I was lying in bed last night thinking about how nervous and shit scared I was weeks before my surgery. I remember being scared of what I was leaving behind. I was comfortable in a way being fat as much as I hated it. Totally ironic right?

I thought back to how crazy and insane my first 2 weeks were post surgery. How sick I was with all my issues and I remembered that even though I was physically feeling so rotten how positive and mentally strong I was feeling.

I was thinking about how sad I used to feel each and every day. I would wake up every morning and wish I were dead. I could not see light at the end of the tunnel. Now? 4 weeks later? I can’t describe the sheer exuberance I feel each and every morning. I am eager to get up and out of bed and I can actually feel a skip in my step.
I would hate to think how I am going to be once I have lost 20, 30,40 kilos!! God help me I’m going to be a little ray of sunshine.

I’ve only lost 8 and a half kilos but I feel a lot lighter. It’s really funny. I’ve caught myself at work running around like a maniac. I’m scrubbing dirty instruments; I’m running from front desk into the surgeries, just flying through my work. I have this insatiable urge for work. I cannot believe I am saying that. I am juggling phones, patients, dentists, paperwork, instruments and happily doing so. Pre-lap band I would slowly move from my chair out to the sterilisation room then come back out and sit down. My movements were very laboured and slow.

I have also seen a change in how I perceive or see myself. I am actually finding humour in taking the piss out of myself and I am not so super sensitive like I used to be. I feel way more relaxed and I feel like I am re-discovering myself if that is at all possible.

I wonder where I will be weight wise in a year’s time? Will I really be wearing my skinny jeans? Will that Country Road dress fit? Will it be big on me? How will it look on me?

I also wonder what my life will be like? If I’m already in a state of being deliriously happy. How happy will I be in a year’s time? I imagine myself finally at my goal weight and that’s like a breath of fresh of air to me. I also have this new found longing to make each and every day memorable and I want to make them count. I have sat back and watched way too many days just pass me by.

Today I also experienced a milestone. I drove to Maccas to buy my work colleague, Sue, some fries and a coffee for myself. I rolled up through the drive way and the food smelt really delicious but I just did NOT want anything just my cup of coffee. I was ecstatic.

Sue wanted me to point out that she experienced a milestone too; she didn’t eat all her fires.


I am woman hear me ROAR!!!


Reney

P.S - The photo is of me & Sue